Owing to a very good friend of mine, I just finished two books he lent me. Ender’s Game and Ender’s Shadow. It has been a long time since I last read any book exceeding a hundred pages without pictures. And I enjoyed every bit of despite being no fan of fiction.

I finished the first book during my four day holiday at Redang and the second one in barely a day. I only put down the second book twice. Once to the toilet and the second time when I finished it. The second book was definitely worth the read ten times as much, not that the first was any less than compelling.

The most fascinating part of the books was how disturbing the characters were. The brutality and inhumanness they displayed in response to their hostile environment. The amount of logical deduction they were capable of. And mostly how manipulative their minds were.

Although I do not profess to be a saint as I have had my fair share of evildoings and selfish thoughts, they seem really trivial in comparison and I would think I have never come close to being manipulative. Some people choose not to be manipulative but for me it seems like my brain is incapable to forming ways to go about doing just that. Not street smart enough maybe.

I know it sounds wrong to say I wish I were manipulative but being that seems to encompass the ability to see the bigger picture and therefore being able to make choices better, which naturally makes you a selfish person.  Who in the right mind would make an informed choice thats not beneficial to yourself. Which only means to say altruistic people may not be so intellectually inclined then but thats no important. Being able to manipulate people does not mean you do not have a choice to not exert influence over them. I just want to be able to see more than what others see. Then again, when I have that ability I probably would be wishing for the bliss of having less thoughts in my gray matter and not having to always be double guessing people and their motives.

The human mind is a terrible thing to waste.